Aircraft Life Support Fitter,
Safety Equipment Worker & Fabric Worker

2002 Newsletter No 6

Vol: 6

Date: 10 July 2002

Webmaster Welcome

Welcome to the sixth issue of the ALSFITT Newsletter on the web! The first five web- based newsletters have certainly been a success and I'm getting a lot of comments about them. As you can tell by the size of this newsletter, I'm now getting lots more pictures, clipping & articles. Also, I've put to rest the 'Web Worm' as 'Dear Coly' is back! Well, although this is not an official site I do request that your articles be kept on the clean side, as I don't want this site banned from being viewed on intranet computers. So send me your articles and I will add them to this newsletter.

The idea of the newsletter is to bring news to all fellow ALSFITT, SEW & Fabric Workers past and present. It can detail the things that are happening in your workplace and/or the social antics of your comrades around the various units, whether it is on trips or just your day-to-day activities within the section. It could also detail the successes people have made since their release to the outside. Truth and accuracy should never stand in the way of a good funny yarn! The web newsletter is a great morale booster and I hope all members look forward to its regular release.

Webmaster ALERT!
For security reasons this webpage has had all current events and news removed. From now on there will only be historical news and information in the web-based newsletters.

P.S. The webmaster reserves the right to edit articles of an extremely sensitive nature.

Past and/or present members, I need you to send me your articles (stories, pictures and/or graphics) if you want this newsletter to survive on the web. Any good stories will be included in the stories section of the site. Any pictures will be added to the pictures section of the site. Any information about past or present members will be amended in the member's lists area of the site. Any items for sale will be included in the products section of the site. Also if members wish to advertise their businesses I will add a link of your site in the links area of the site.

Let us know what you think and encourage everyone to check out this newsletter, it has great potential. I will try to correlate all the info I receive and keep everyone informed on the whereabouts of all ALSFITTs, SEWs & Fabric Workers past and present serving in the RAAF, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait or anywhere else they may be.

dear coly

Dear Coly is Back!
That stupid Web-Worm has been laid rest and for all future newsletters Dear Coly well contribute again. So if you have any queries about anything, why not ask .

Dear Coly,
I am going on a television game show and I am afraid that my work mates will make fun of me, what should I do?
Signed ‘Darren’

Dear Darren,
As Australians, your work mates have a valid right, nee…. social responsibility, to rip the piss out of you for going on a TV game show. Now if it was ‘Temptation Island’ or ‘Big Brother’, it would be okay, but ‘Wheel of Fortune’…… I suggest you ask for a ‘D for Dick please Larry’.

P.S. Now Darren, don't be afraid to share with your work mates how you went on the show. Did you win anything? Did you chat-up the chicks? No need to tell us whether you made a dick of yourself on the show Darren! We already know that answer to that.


Dear Coly,
I am due to get posted from my current unit and I am not sure where I will get posted. Do you have any advice?
Signed ‘worried NCO’

Dear Worried,
Normally you would get in touch with DPA, but he is very hard to track down. So, I suggest you ring ALSLMU and speak to the assistant manner. He will be able to let the manner know where to send you.


Dear Coly,
I am trying to find out the legalities of having restraining orders issued to the guys in the section, to stop them fraternising with members of another squadron who share our building. I don’t want them to get any bad habits from ‘them’.
Signed ‘Divided’

Dear Divided,
You do know that we are all playing for the same team. I once received the same request from another squadron. I can only see you going down the same path my friend.


Dear Coly,
After refereeing a game of touch football the other day, I noticed a strange lump with excruciating pain when I sat down. What could it be?
Signed ‘Derek’

Dear Derek,
I am not a fully qualified medical practitioner, but I dare say it is a result of being told ‘to shove that whistle up your @#$%!’ after the game. You might want to give it a clean before using it again.


Dear Cully,
I huv jist bun posted unto my new suction ind I wunt to know uf ut uz pussible to order un some lambs wool to cover some earcfraft seats ay bro. Thut would be choice.
Signed ‘Kiwi’

Dear Kiwi,
I am reluctant to send you the lambs wool because of your previous requests for woollen immersion suit under garment, aircrew woollen socks, rubber gloves & velcro as well as a blow up doll. Sorry bro.


Dear Coly,
Mmfff mmmmmmff mmmm to mmff and mmmmrrrrmmmff mmm fffmmm?
Signed ‘Mick’

Dear Mick,
No I do not know where you are going to get posted. I suggest you ring the assistant manner at ALSLMU and find out.


Dear Coly,
I could not find some vital information in the publication when I was servicing an oxy mask. What should I do?
Signed ‘Steve’

Dear Steve,
Maybe you should try looking at the next page. If this fails, contact ALSLMU and they will talk you through this process. (P.S. That is our oxygen you are breathing.)


Dear Coly,
Do you know where I can shop for cheaper fish? The last time I went fishing, it cost me $1600 for two tailor.
Signed ‘Alf’

Dear Alf,
Either go to the Fish co-op or use someone else’s vehicle. I would avoid that sandy car park on Stockton Beach.


Dear Coly,
Rumour has it that some life support sections have broken ties with the mustering and is going it alone. It seems they don't need sewing machines anymore and they don't need to hold spares anymore either. Another break with tradition is the use of either black or orange shirts instead of the traditional purple. What should I do?
Signed ‘Anonymous’

Dear Anonymous,
Either seek a posting, or fight the changes. The hot weather does affect some people.


Dear Coly,
If my rosters are sorted out would it OK to share about ten thousand beers with some of the old and new crew at the Reunion in Adelaide?
Signed ‘Hoots’

Dear Hoots,
Sure, but I suggest that if you do attend you should bring a spare kidney and a colostomy bag. You just never know how long these events go for. Hmmmmmm well OK I just remembered who I'm talking to and yes you would know how long they go for!!! Drink up Hoots!


Dear Coly,
I'm not sure if I should continue with my quest for remuster to WOD. What should I do?
Signed ‘Troubled’

Dear Troubled,
I know you've attempted this on numerous occasions. It's probably about time you wised up and had a good look at yourself in the mirror.
P.S. I really don't understand why you don't want the vacancy at ALSMLU. I'm sure the rumours about you and Pete are not true.


Dear Coly,
It's me again. Does Rambo still drive that piece of crap Valiant?
Signed ‘Hoots’

Dear Hoots,
I don't know Hoots! But I well send an investigation team over there to find out for you! It's hard to believe anyone drives them any more. Although, there is another guy that lives down the south of Adelaide that has shed full of them!


Know any of these members?

Who was captured outside the Bull 'N' Bush shortly after a 'semi naked run through'?


Yep, you guessed it! The Channel 9 Footy Show guys, Fatty, Sterlo, Chief and some hangers on.


This was found in a local magazine. Keep up the good image Greg!


Hard at work, or asleep? Who is it?


ALSLMU's courier service?


Does this guy's name ring a Bell to anyone? No one is sure what this member is doing behind that box!! It's one of those mystery of life. Maybe the member concerned can enlighten all his colleagues.


I'm working with my eyes closed. Really I am!


How about this clip. The way a demo should be done! NOT


Would you believe he is actually being kicked out because he lost his hair? True!! Well he claims he just discharged.

Notices from fellow members

Robert Stanley Breeze, WOFF SEW, passed away on 22 Jun 02 in the presence of his Family his funeral was held on the 26 Jun 02.


It is with regret that I have to announce the death of James (Jim) Ferguson on 11th April 2002. His death was announced in the Newcastle Morning Herald on Saturday 13th April 2002. His funeral service was held on Tuesday morning the 16th April 2002.


A member was contacted by his friend from Yamba (NSW), and he told him that he read in a veteran magazine that Col Spratt had died at the age of 54.


Al Johnson is discharging soon!


Dave 'Barney' Barnett has had a gut full of the ol' milk run and can't put up with working for the Army, so he is re-enlisting next month. You will be able to find him at 11 SQN!


Pete Boraso has discharged! (see his picture above minus his hair which was taken at his farewell.
Congratulations on your endeavours after the RAAF Pete, in what ever you do.
I understand you'll be still seen around the place as you've cemented yourself into one of the chairs there.


Douglas Vaughan has remustered to Fire-fighter.


It is with pleasure that I announce that Tom Howie has won the position of supplier in the AVMED Orderly Room. Tom is currently a Clerk Supply at Williamtown and also has a background as a Safety Equipo. It may be some time before he arrives, depending on when he can discharge.


Now lets see where to start? You probably heard that I discharged after ten years at WLM but civvie life wasn't for me so after six months I re-enlisted as an LAC with no seniority and they posted me to lovely 503WG at Richmond (at least I got to work with Emilio again!). After a couple of months I realized I could do better and the CSP monster was beginning to rear its ugly I reapplied for a commission, and surprise this time I got through. On a weeks notice I packed up my things and set off to OTS at sunny Point Cook for fifteen weeks (Lisa and the kids went straight to East Sale). After that I went to East Sale to the School of Air Traffic for six months and then got posted back to Richmond which I'm quite happy about because I'm the only one off my course that has managed to complete all the training and achieve ratings.... everyone else is held up in a training backlog! So as you can see, a lot has happened in the last two years but I don't regret any of it! Well anyway that's my story. Sorry to cut this short but I'm on my lunch break and us boggies have to work pretty hard to prove ourselves so I'd better go.
Bye for now
Mark Brindell


Rumour has it that an ex-member will be putting on an 'all expenses paid' 'biggest piss-up ever' when he collects his pay-out from his pending lawsuit for kickin' him out for his disabilities.
Go Dinga Go!!!! We're all behind you buddy!!!!!!


To all I (Adam Noble) have met or worked with over the years.
Well, here I am quite a few years down the track from signing that line that got me in to all this in the first place and now I'm only hours away from signing another line that has the reverse effect. Seven years seven months that’s what I held on for. I never really had a huge future within a military organisation, colourful sure! But not really a future. I must say it has certainly been an experience, from my early days at 481, crafting a fine drinking habit, back when hangovers didn't exist for a young chap as I was.
Then over to 77, this meant more deployments and naturally more beer to be consumed and more fun to be had, I was lucky enough in my time there to get around Australia a fair bit and pick up an Enn Zudd trip. I was also introduce to a new phrase in my time there, 'Does it say that in the boooook'?.
And then I was heading up north 75, and all its tropical delights were waiting. I had a pretty good time up there and for anyone that knows what a true Territorian is, well lets just say “When in Rome”. Got to go to Singa's with them lads.
From there it was back to Willy and OCU, same old stuff different hat. I'd already started getting itchy feet sometime ago, so it came time to put the big “D” in and give something else a crack. And so I am. I'm heading off overseas to see what the world has to offer, at this early stage I'm guessing they make beer over there so I'll be giving that a try as well as what ever else pops up, you only live once. So to anyone that I've ever worked with or met through work or to anyone that's ever heard the stories (Yeah! Probably all true and what's not true you just make up RIGHT), I wish you all well for yourself and your families and leave you with a familiar saying in today's television.


Just been forwarded your latest email by Steve McNamara (who happens to work with me) and I must commend you on a job well done. It's been most interesting scrolling through the site and catching up on the many changes to the mustering and also to note some of the Reserve members who are still vertical and sucking wind like Doc Holliday. For your records, I am the Chief Technical Officer of the Clothing and Field Equipment Group based in good old Vic Barracks Melbourne. We are responsible for the technical content, Quality assurance and specifications for everything from shoe laces through ceremonial accoutrements to combat body armour for all three Services which tends to keep us occupied. I guess that now I have opened my big mouth I'm going to get a flood of complaints/suggestions re the above...............hope not. During my time as a "Safety Equipo" Jan 65 - Jan 85, had anyone told me I was going to finish up in this industry I would have thought them to be nuts, however one does not know what the future holds. Must away and get back to what they pay me for. Look forward to future articles and keep up the good work.
Best wishes
Phil Blake


Who's Packing Your Parachute??...

Sometimes, we wonder why friends and family members keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word, maybe this could explain: Who's Packing Your Parachute??... Charles Plumb was a US Navy jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent 6 years in a Communist Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons learned from that experience. One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, "You're Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!" "How in the world did you know that?" asked Plumb. "I packed your parachute," the man replied. Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, "I guess it worked!" Plumb assured him, "It sure did. If your chute hadn't worked, I wouldn't be here today." Plumb couldn't sleep that night, thinking about that man. Plumb says, "I kept wondering what he might have looked like in a Navy uniform: a white hat, a bib in the back, and bell-bottom trousers. I wonder how many times I might have seen him and not even said 'Good morning, how are you?' or anything, because, you see, I was a fighter pilot and he was just a sailor." Plumb thought of the many hours the sailor had spent on a long wooden table in the bowels of the ship, carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he didn't know. Now, Plumb asks his audience, "Who's packing your parachute?" Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day. Plumb also points out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down over enemy territory-he needed his physical parachute, his mental parachute, his emotional parachute, and his spiritual parachute. He called on all of these supports before reaching safety. Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss what is really important. We may fail to say hello, please, or thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just do something nice for no reason. As you go through this week, this month, this year, recognize people who pack your parachute. I am sending you this as my way of thanking you for your part in packing my parachute !!! And I hope you will send it on to those who have helped pack yours! Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word, maybe this could explain: When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do --- you forward jokes. And to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get ? --- a forwarded joke. So, my friend, next time, if you get a joke, don't think that you have been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today, and that your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile!

ALSFITT Reservists Search

I have been asked to search around and seek out all the ALSFITT Reservists. Once I get the names I will add a page within the site with all their names and hopefully E-Mail contacts as well. By having a list of Reservists and their contact, it will make it easier for anyone looking for someone to do some relief manning. So if you are a serving Reservists, or know of a serving Reservists, please contact the webmaster with the details.


This segment is designed to keep you informed of where your fellow trade members are now. This can either be 'retired members' or 'serving members'. If you know the whereabouts of your fellow members, drop me a line and I will include them in here.

The following member recently made contact:

  • Michael Adams, (Tassie)

    I am now working at 29SQN, City of Hobart, and I am currently serving in the Tasmania Police, OIC Police Station Derby.

  • Bob Richards, (Willytown)

    Currently works at Supply Services-WLM repairing Deployment Store equipment like tents, etc. He is also very active with the local Newcastle ATC.

  • Noel Stewart, (Gold Coast)

    My family is spread out all over the place, fortunately I have three on the coast, one in Germany and the other in Melbourne, all married and have 8 grand children. Steve Copp who was at 2OCU, married Kerri and they have two children 13 and 11. Steve is in the fire service and also has a Marine Upholstery Business on the coast where Aaron and myself work. I only work there part time at present as I am still with AMSA as a Technical Officer but the travel is starting to get to me as I am never home. My job as takes me all over Australia.